I Want to Ride My Bicycle I Want to Ride My Bike

If there is any message I want to give my daughter it is that effort and hard work pay off.  I want her to know that whatever she puts her mind to she can accomplish, but that it takes perseverance.  Talent is WAY overrated and that anyone can be good at just about anything with the right effort.  Now I realize that no matter how much effort and time I put into it I will never be a WNBA player...but I firmly beleive that it isn't too late for her.

This message was put to the test earlier this week when her bicycle suddenly appeared and I suggested that she learn to ride it.  I realize that this task would have been much easier had we chosen to tackle it 3 years ago, but she never really was that into it.  I mean she would toodle around on her training wheels, but even that was hard, and within the past year she completely gave up and had no desire to even try.  I wrote about a conversation that I had with her regarding the subject here.

A friend of mine suggested that we lower the seat, take off the training wheels, and just let her push herself around with her feet trying to lift her feet every now and then to practice her balance without having to pedal.  Then as she got better at balancing raise the seat up and have her try to pedal.

As we unpacked the bicycle, and realized that it would need to live on the patio because it wouldn't fit into the garage I decided to give my girl another chance to learn the lesson of effort.  I took off the training wheels, I pumped up the tires, I lowered the seat, and I called her outside.  After seeing her look of terror and wiping her tears of protests our conversation went a little like this: 

Me:  Bella, remember how whenever you have a problem or something that you are having trouble accomplishing we always talk about how good you are at never giving up and working hard until you do whatever it is that you want to do.

Bella: Uh-Huh (snif snif)

Me:  Well learning to ride a bike is something that will a little effort and hard work you could be good at.

Bella:  I don't want to learn to ride a bike.

Me:  I know that you would love to ride a bike if you just learned how.

Bella: I am too old to learn to ride a bike.  Learning to ride a bike is for babies, I should already know how to do it.

Me:  (geez kid...you are making this teachable moment so much harder than it needs to be) Well sweetheart it is never too late to learn something that will make you happier once you learn it.  I know that you would be happier if you knew how to ride a bike.  All it would take is just some effort.  I know you could do it.

Bella:  Well dad would be really proud of me, he has always wanted me to learn how.  Maybe I could just give it a try and then surprise him.

Me: (phew)  Great idea Bella.

Well she worked in the driveway a couple of days ago for about 15 minutes with Rich and then gave up and came inside.  Today she, unprompted, went back outside and about 15 minutes later came in and told me to come watch.  She was riding her bike, pedaling and all.  We raised the seat, went to the empty basketball court across the street and in no time she was pedaling along.  She was having a blast and told me how much fun riding a bike was.  She can't wait to surprise her dad.

When we got inside I asked her when I could tell her, "I told you so".  She told me that I was right, riding a bike IS a lot of fun.  I told her that wasn't the "I told you so" I was talking about.  She smiled at me and I knew that another lesson about never giving up was learned.

More Later
 
- A Ro

Curiosity Didn't Kill the Cat...Only Us Moms

Oh to be young again and be able to do silly things...


What possesses a young man of 3 years old to stick a hanger down his pants?

My sister in law told me that he was trying to be a monster...

My nephew Joseph is one of those kinda kids who has an amazing imagination and is always on the go thinking of crazy things. I know he sometimes gives my sister in law fits, but as my dad used to always say "It would be really easy to raise stupid kids...it's the smart ones who give you trouble" Joseph is definitely one of those smart ones. He is so entertaining to be around and he is just so very busy!!


My kids were like that too, but in very different ways. My son would go into his room for hours and just create. Create block structures and elaborate car towns. He would continue these for days on end. (Which when you accidentally clean one up always included a major melt down.) Our walks included walking around each and every car he came across, carefully looking and studying the tires. I could always tell that his little mind was always on the go, but in a very inward quiet way. On the other hand my daughters curiosity was a very outward kind. She was the kind of kid who would empty the entire Cheerios box on the floor, climb back into the tub completely dressed while the tub was draining, and pull every last Kleenex out of the box. She was very curious in an exploratory way. When we went on walks she would always find "treasures" on the way and it took me finding these "treasures" in my lint trap before I decided maybe we should carry a bucket on our walks. Even to this day she is always asking me "Hey, you done with that, can I have it?" Creativity to me is such a refreshing trait to have.


My dad was a very wise man, he taught me that if you had to teach a child how to play with a toy it wasn't a toy...



...he also taught me that if only I could just get the screws out of my dirt devil canister vacuum I could fix it....





...oh wait that was my own idea.


And a very very Happy Birthday to my nephew Joseph...thanks for being such a special little boy!!!

More Later

-A Ro

The Talk

This blog is all about the birds and the bees and I don't mean a discussion about flying creatures that start with the letter b. I am talking about the discussion of what happens during puberty and the like.

...just warnin' ya.

My daughter is 9. My ex husband has been pressuring me to have "the talk" with her. He read on-line that sometimes girls start to menstruate around 9 or 10. Well that just seemed WAY to early to me...

...not to mention the trauma that I felt about having to sit down with my girl and go over all that stuff...

...oh to be in labor again, oh to go through those terrible twos, oh to feed her every two hours...now THOSE were the good old days of parenting compared.

Anyhoo...I just didn't want to do it so I have been avoiding the subject with him, but he would not relent. So I decided to ask some of the teachers who have girls my daughter's age what their thoughts are. My good friend Gaby, who has a daughter in Bella's grade, told me that this summer her doctor told her that she should have "the talk" very soon, because you don't want something to take her totally by surprise. Gaby and I decided that we should just do it...this was only after the science teacher who teaches this stuff to the 5th graders wouldn't do for us.

So I decided one night after her bath to sit down and go over what is going to happen to her body during puberty. She sat their with her eyes wide open and in total shock. I won't go into details but I think you'll get the idea on just how south the whole conversation went by two of the sentences she uttered between her sobbing.

1. "Well then I am just going to make sure that all my eggs are fertilized" (I had already decided that the sex talk needed to wait...but informed her that her "solution" wouldn't work unless she wanted to field her own soccer team by the time she was 15)

2. "You mean I have to go through that EVERY month for the REST OF MY LIFE" (I also didn't want to go into the discussion of menopause just yet...as it just might make me start to sob)

Needless to say I went to bed thinking that I traumatized my poor little girl...cause I really couldn't think of anything positive to say about the whole "time of the month" stuff.

What am I going to say?

...Oh it really isn't all that bad...(lie)

...It only lasts a short time and then you have a whole 3 weeks before it starts again...(not going to help)

...At least it doesn't hurt...(lie)

Well thankfully she asked a few more questions...and we bought the book "The Care and Keeping of You" by Valerie Schaefer

She has paged through it a couple of times, but at least I know she is informed about puberty...now I just have to muster up the courage to talk about sex...geez no one told me that parenting would only get harder...


...oh wait my mom did...

More Later

- A Ro

Birthin' Babies

I have decided to change fonts...I just needed something to shake it up a bit.



However the most important info of the day has nothing to do with fonts...



something much more cute...



much sweeter...



and smells much nicer...





My sister was due to have her baby yesterday!!!



Yesterday she called me at 6:20 and told me she was having some contractions and felt like stuff was goin' on down there. Since then I have decided that it is hard to give advice to pregnant women and new mothers for that matter because each birthing experience and each baby is SOOO different AND quite frankly, some of the truths are just hard to hear. My story is no different. My son and daughter were not going to come on their own. I was induced both times and didn't have an epidural with either one. I know you are thinking either you are crazy or very strong...the truth is the thought of having a needle stuck in my back was too much to bear. I guess that makes the "being crazy theory" the correct answer. My daughter never slept as a new born and cried for the first three months. My son was a quiet sweet baby who also never slept.



There just isn't one right way to do it or one right answer.



However, in attempting to give advice and TRY to be helpful I have been thinking about those two topics and have come up with some things that are just universal.



Here goes:

• from the moment you find out you are pregnant your bathroom becomes the room in your house most visited


• you look at non pregnant skinny girls with envy


• the first time your baby kicks you is the coolest thing EVER!!!


• being pregnant is an amazing thing


• the last trimester to birth seems like the longest time of your life.


• waiting for the birth sucks


• the amount you are dilated during the last weeks before your due date has nothing to do with how long it will be before you actually give birth


• the doctor does very little in the process of giving birth...thank goodness for nurses!!


• giving birth involves some pain


• the weeks after birth involve some pain


• onesies are the greatest invention


• you are very tired


• you are extremely tired


• you have a hard time remembering the last time you slept, ate, or took a shower


• giving birth is the easiest part of becoming a parent...the hardest part is yet to come


• vitamin E does nothing for stretch marks


• you never saw something so small eat so much


• you never realized how much you could love another human being

I wish my baby sister good luck, god speed, and a good anesthesiologist. My kids will finally have to consider their Aunt Kate an adult.

More later

-A Ro

First Day of School

In the words of Destiny's Child...I'm a survivor I'm not gon' give up I'm not gon' stop...I'm gon' work harder. I hope someone gets that reference. Anyhoo...my point is...I survived the first day of school, but more important Andrew survived having me as a teacher...yes you heard it correctly my teenage son is in my high school choir. Now in all fairness I did apologize to him ahead of time for any embarrassment I should cause him...that gives me complete freedom right??

right??

Oh alright...I'll try to be on my best behavior, but I cannot promise anything...after all I am only human.

We did have a good first rehearsal and he only turned bright red a couple of times, and he is still speaking to me...I'd say a huge success.

It is funny to me how much changing goes on between 6th grade and 7th grade...here is a story between two middle school boys to prove my point:

Sixth grader: Hey did you see that transformers movie?

Seventh grader: Yeah

Sixth grader: It was AMAZING all that action and stuff blowing up and car chases and robots and stuff...wow what a cool movie.

Seventh grader: Yeah it was a cool movie but you have it all wrong...I'll sum up in two words why that movie was awesome.

Sixth grader: OK

Seventh grader: MEGAN FOX!!!

Either way middle school is such a wonderful age to teach. I know some people would say I was crazy, but I do love 'um...every last hormonal one of them.

Bella has one more day of "vacation" a la going to school, but not having to wear a uniform because she is still at daycare. We did meet her teacher...the new one of the group...and she is excited!!

Andrew in his first day outfit that took longer to pick out than his entire birth. Yes I know it is an important decision...and yes he did pick it out the night before...and yes I helped...and no I didn't laugh...and yes he looked very nice.

Can you believe how tall he is? (she says wiping one tear away)

Have I mentioned how lucky I am??

More later

- A Ro