Dear Third House on the Left on Sycamore Street,
Thank you oh so very much for either a) leaving your holiday lights on all night or b) turning them on early in the morning. It warms my heart to run by your house so early in the morning and see those beautiful lights.
(A woman who appreciates Clark Griswold-esque Christmas lights)
Dear City of Vimi Salley,
Thank you for not fixing the street light on that dark corner of Main and First Street. You must know that I don't have enough money to put my kids through college. Thank you for your foresight.
(Plaintiff in future lawsuit)
Dear driver of the Chevy Malibu,
Thank you for a) not stopping before you turned right on red and b) not looking to your left before you did. You must have known that my heart rate was not high enough and wanted to give it a little push in the right direction.
(The woman waving and cursing at you in your rear view mirror)
Dear fellow early morning runner, I'll call you "speedy"
Thank you for waving at me as you passed me. It really made me feel part of the running "club". I like knowing there are other insane people out so very early on a very cold morning.
(The woman in the too tight running pants with the wiggly butt, I'm sorry)
Dear God it's me A-Ro,
Thank you for getting my butt out of bed this morning, it was all YOU today as I knew it was cold and my bed was warm. Thank you for holding off the rain another day so I could get my run in this morning.
Thank you also for the clear crisp sky this morning...the stars were magnificent.
(The woman who uses lame Judy Blume references in her letter to you)
***names, makes and models of cars, streets, and cities were changed to protect the innocent