Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Way It Is

There are a few things on my heart and mind today, and since this is supposed to be a blog about me and my life...I choose to share.

Today Bella and I went out to pick out stockings for Rich’s kids to hang on our mantle.  We did this because they are now a part of our family, and we want them to be included and have stockings just like the rest of us.  I care for them and want to include them, as they should be included. 

 (I ordered their initial pins today...and now I only wish I had big school pictures too)

An anonymous commenter has told me many times that Rich's kids don’t want to be part of my family, that they don’t like me and don’t want anything to do with me.  I have been told that they throw away my gifts, smash them in the driveway, and that I need to leave them alone.

I can’t do that…I won’t do that…they are part of my family now.  I will do everything I can to make them feel like a part of our family and make them feel wanted and loved.

So anonymous commenter…comment away.  Tell me all those things…it won’t matter because I will continue to treat them like they are my family, and care about them. 

It doesn’t matter if they throw away my gifts.

It doesn’t matter if they smash them in the driveway.

It doesn’t matter if they take their stockings and give away every single item in them.

It doesn't matter if they tell you how much they hate me.
It really doesn't even matter to me if they ever choose to look me in the eye and tell me they hate me.

I will continue to give them gifts, do fun things with them when they are with me, to love them, care for them, support them, and be the best step mom I can be.   They will get their stocking when I see them in Iowa.  They will have an ornament on our tree.  They will have pictures on our walls. They will get birthday emails, and birthday cakes, and they will know I care.

Because they are now a part of our family.

Because I care for them.

Because love will always conquer hate.

So comment away.  You can promote hate and exclusion.  I will promote love and acceptance.

More Later

- A Ro


  1. I came over to visit from I'm not sure where! :) It may quite possibly be that I'm blog hopping!

    When my husband and I married, I had two boys over 18. He had a 9 and 12 year old. That he had custody of, sooooo I raised those two like my own. I made sure I never made any difference between them no matter what their certain someone else chose to tell them. I prayed for her and I loved them.

    It was probably a little crazy to take on two more boys who would be teens, but I did.....1. because I loved their daddy and 2. because I came to love them.

    I have now been with them more than half their lives. They are both grown up, good men who graduated college, have good careers and we even have a grandson from one of them!

    Love does always trump hate....a lot of prayer helps too!

    Keep your good attitude, it will take you far!


  2. I like what Nancy says - love trumps hate. So go you, be a mom. You're pretty good at it after all.

  3. Amy, u really need to stop abscessing. Seems to be that your hate is in control of your life with this situation. Perhaps, you have focused on a negative subject for so long that it has become a bad habit for you. Love and caring that you speak of are good qualities. Keep it up!!! Good for you!!! Be real to your self and get rid of the hate you harbor your self. Prayer is key, no doubt. That will always have to come first. I pray for you.

  4. Well i do appreciate the thought of caring and gving to Sarah and I. But when it comes down to it, i don't believe it would be necessary to do such thing. Also, it's not that i don't want to be part of your family, but i have my own family here at home and i have always had this family. If a person decided to join another family such as a mentor of mine for any reason, it does not mean i will do the same.

    I don't really like the term "Family" but more of the lines of "Friends" different people have their different meanings of family and mine obviously differs from yours....sadly.

    However as i said, it's greatly appreciated, but staying friends would be the best solution. :D

    Best Regards,

  5. Why r u always so quick to blame the mother of the children every time that you get an anonymous comment. Amy you say that you are smart because you have a masters degree, I am not seeing it.

  6. I think you need to re-read the post. I never blamed the mother. Not sure where you got that idea unless the anonymous commenter is the mother...but I never said that it was.

    I know that ALL the anonymous comments come from the same house that the kids comments come from. So either it is the mother or the mother allows other people to be hateful in her home.

    Maybe the anonymous commenter should own up to what they are saying and sign the comments instead of hiding behind being anonymous.

    The anonymous commenter might not be the mother, but they sure aren't very nice and loving. And they think that I harbor hate. Look in the mirror.

  7. My feelings about kids and parents-grandparents-stepparents-etal is this...the more people who pour love into a child's life, the better. We can call them friend, family or whatever but love poured into a childs life is never wasted. Love never fails. Thinking of you this holiday season!