Friday, March 20, 2009

The no caffiene drama...

Well I am going to make a short story long...so bear with me.

Last year about this time I found a lump in my left breast. Now I have had a "doctors saying that you have cancer"...cancer scare that turned out to not be cancer so my tolerance for this subject is greater than most, and at the same time my respect for disease is also greater than most. So I trudged to the doctor to get to the bottom of it. He thought it was serious enough to send me to a breast surgeon...which I greatly appreciated since usually it takes a month of Sunday's to get through the red tape of insurance. So this not so stoic not very serious patient went off to the very stoic very serious breast surgeon and the conversation as I was lying naked on the examination table went like this:

Dr. F: ah yes I feel the lump

Me: (does he realize how silly I look lying here with a paper shirt) oh...

Dr. F: You have very lumpy breasts...do you realize that?

OK TIME OUT

After that question about a dozen responses went through my mind...I would now like to share a few with you. Keep in mind he is an uber stuffy doctor with NO sense of humor.

First One:
Dr. F: You have very lumpy breasts...do you realize that?
Me: Thanks for noticing

Second One:
Dr. F: You have very lumpy breasts...do you realize that?
Me: Well I have never touched another woman's breasts so I really don't have anything to compare it to.

Third One:
Dr. F: You have very lumpy breasts...do you realize that?
Me: Well I have never touched another woman's breasts...well unless you count that time in college when I had too much to...oh never mind.

TIME IN: Ok here is what I really said

Dr. F: You have very lumpy breasts...do you realize that?

Me: oh well no...(see I can be good)

Dr. F: Do you drink caffeine?

Me: Well only 3 shots of espresso a day...

Dr. F: No more caffeine for you...no soda, coffee, decaf (who knew decaf had caffeine), no chocolate...only herbal teas. Caffeine is linked to fibro-cystic breast disease...which you have.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH No say it isn't so...how will I go on...how will I survive...GS just bought me a new coffee bean grinder and a new bag of oh so wonderful Starbucks coffee, and my shipment of Cinnamon Dolce Sugar Free syrup just came in...why me...why me.

now mind you the cancer scare completely left my mind and the thought of no caffeine was much worse than the possibility that I had breast cancer...how crazy is that???

...well he was pretty certain that I didn't have breast cancer...ok but NO CAFFEINE???

So after a week of complete and utter exhaustion, massive headaches, grouchyness...and the wonderful GS (who can't live without his pot of black coffee each morning and really can't function without ingesting that first cup) offering to never drink coffee again. I made it. I got over the needing caffeine.... and even without GS having to sacrifice anything.

Now what I miss the most is the actual taste. The going to a coffee shop for conversation over a hot cup of joe...is what I miss. I miss Starbucks iced venti non fat sugar free Cinnamon dolce lattes. And as silly as it sounds I miss fountain diet cokes...not many places have fountain drinks with caffeine free.

But I prevailed...I found that I like Starbucks iced venti passion tea with sugar free vanilla...and I found that hot tea lattes from Coffee Bean. I pushed on...I forged new loves...now they are not with the intensity of the old loves, but life does go on you know. Although nothing really replaced the Cinnamon Dolce iced latte...

until now...

So now the long story comes to an end...Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf has new iced tea lattes

...so today I sat down and stared one in the face...a Toffee Rooiboos iced tea latte, and I said "tea latte, just so you know you won't replace my cup of heaven known as the cinnamon dolce latte, but you have potential to fill this void in my life...now no pressure, but I am counting on you."

...I stared...

...I slowly sipped...

and I really liked it...I think I have filled the hole in my drink obsession...

....maybe there is hope for a happy life yet.

P.S....not to disappoint, but there was no time in college when I had too much...but you probably already knew that.


More Later.
-A Ro






1 comment:

  1. Wow,that is a major revelation and life change. I'm sorry for you because it's a big adjustment, but it sounds like you are a trooper and are finding your way around this thing, which is good.

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