Doctor Doctor Give Me the News

My boy has been under the weather. His symptoms are severe headache and sore throat. No fever...how do I know...I put my lips to his forehead and just knew.

Now my son doesn't believe that I can tell if he has a fever. He thinks that my "I just know" explanation isn't good enough. I told him that I would bet him if I took 100 kids some with fever and some without I could pick out the ones with fever with 99% accuracy.

He thinks I am full of it.

I think we need to call Myth Busters.

Anyway he stayed home on Monday. He felt like he needed to go to school on Tuesday, but I ended up taking him home before lunch...and he woke up feeling worse today so I finally took him to the doctor.

Now doctors are funny to me. Andrew's only symptoms were headache and sore throat...no fever...thank you very much!! He feels around...looks around...and decides he doesn't have strep throat but has a virus...the catch all I have no idea what is wrong diagnosis.

The whole time Andrew is being very grown up. He is talking to the doctor, asking good questions and being very articulate. I think to myself...my little boy is growing up.

UNTIL

The doctor sees that he hasn't had his flu shot yet.

Andrew starts to whine, and beg for mercy. Suddenly the word mommy starts to creep back into his vocabulary.

Needless to say he hates needles. He completely rationalizes that it doesn't really hurt, but the needle is what gets him every time. Finally the large male nurse comes in to give him the shot and is rolling with laughter by the time he is done at the way my 14 year old son is acting.

I held his hand...promised him ice cream and all was well.

My favorite point was the nurse saying take a deep breath and starts to count to 3 but sticks the needle in him after 1...such a smart guy.

THEN...

Andrew asks the doctor to look at this bump he has on the webbing between the thumb and forefinger. The doc pokes and looks and decides it is a wart and he can take care of it right there.

I swear I noticed a twinkle in the docs eyes when he realizes that he gets to get out the can of liquid nitrogen and freeze off this wart. He gets to play with chemicals...probably the one reason he went to med school and became a doctor...that and the paycheck. Andrew also gets very interested in this as well.

Then Andrew asks the question that all patients ask "Will this hurt?" And the doctor tells the lie that all doctors must tell "Maybe a little, but not much".

Do they do this on purpose? Can they not bear to tell their patients the truth?

Nope I think is it a strategic plan to keep the calm until it is to late...they ain't no dumb guys they know how it works, especially pediatricians...and we mothers appreciate their ability to lie like dogs.

Well with Andrew he kept the calm and was sort of looking forward to watching this science experiment unfold.

UNTIL

The liquid nitrogen was placed on his wart. Again Andrew started squirming, calling for his mommy, and almost kicked the doc in the family jewels. And I did want any good mom would do...I laughed my butt off. It was absolutely hilarious to watch him act SO un-teenage like.

That was the best spent $15.00 I have spent in a long time...I'm just sayin'

All the way home Andrew was telling me how much it hurt and that I would never understand that kind of pain...

I gave him his pity party moment, but what he fails to realize is that the reason I can tell if he has a fever with the touch of my lips is because I gave birth to him...

...a long painful birth.

...with plenty of needles.

...and other things we won't go into.


More Later

-A Ro