Not sure that is a good thing, but I am going to run with it. Yeah.
There was my out of body DMV experience, my cute nephew, and my soccer kids, just to name a few.
However, today you will be
In fact this one might just be bigger than...
... The Hatfields and the McCoys...
...the Red Sox and the Yankees...
...the Jets and the Sharks...
I am talking about the Zumba-ees
VS the Yogees.
Well last week these two groups collided...and I was almost caught in the pelvic thrust sun salutation crossfire. All I can say is that if it came to a showdown outside the juice bar at the fitness center after class I would have had to put my money on those bell jingling, hip swirling, primal noise yelling Zumba-ees.
Come on. You know I'm right.
Here is how it went down:
At the end of Yoga class the nice, calm, and quiet Yoga instructer has us lie on our backs completely relaxed and find our center. This totally works for me. Her voice could put Attilla the Hun's chakra into order. I mean the way she convinces us to find our peace, use our cleansing breaths, and get in touch with our inner self as we are playing Twister on our Yoga mat is incredible. I mean she totally has me.
Last week, however, I saw a side of her that shocked the heck out of me. It was almost time for class to end and we were totally prone and I was a relaxed big blob of drooling matter. In the distance I could hear the Zumba-ees lining up in the stairwell ready for their class, and to say they were a little loud would be a vast understatement. You know...those people who talk on their cell phones so loud that you feel the need to chime in on the state of their portfolios, the market value of gold, or how to get their kids to stop picking on their siblings and finish their homework.
Our leader very passive agressively says over the microphone loud enough for the Zumba-ees to hear:
"I know that it is getting very loud in the stairwell, but please try to find your center and hopefully they will be kind enough to give us a few more mintues of quiet time"
Well that didn't work...so the next words were:
"I know that you are trying very hard to be patient waiting for us to be finished, but could you please give us a few more minutes of quiet reflection"
Seriously, that hint didn't work either...they just got louder. So finally she went over to the stairwell covered the microphone and said.
"I asked you nicely the first few times, but now I MUST insist that you stop being rude and interrupting our class with your loud conversations...PLEASE"
Wow. It was like the voice of a possessed Linda Blair. I would have totally zipped it.
You would think that that would have shut them up. I mean she did say please, albeit while her head was spinning, but please none-the-less.
I was totally feeling her pain. I mean I know how hard it is to get chatty
She, however, came back to class and said to us very calmly.
"Some people just don't know to be comfortable in silence"
After class people the Yoga-ees were saying very loud things as the Zumba-ees were coming in. Things like:
"Geez some people are just so rude"
"Can't you all see that we were trying to find a little bit of PEACE"
"Boy, boy crazy boy. Stay loose boy. Breeze it, buzz it, easy does it. Turn off the juice boy."
OK I made the last one up, but I was feeling like a little Jerome Robbins choreography was about to be let loose.
Because if it came to a rumble that would be the only way these two groups would be able to solve their differences.
Sadly, I'm still putting my money on the Zumba-ees...they seem to know how to bring it.
- A Ro