Why?

Why is it after a really long stressful day I don't want to come home and cook? I love to cook, I really do, but today on my way home after a very hard day I just didn't want to cook. I had fish in the fridge yummy ahi ahi tuna, and was planning on fixing yummy fettuccine and broccoli, one of my favorite dishes. I just couldn't do it. I needed to just sit and let someone else wait on me, cook my meal, and then clean up after me....hmmm maybe I really don't like to cook??

Why is it that being asked to sing at my beautiful sister's wedding gives me such a worried feeling? I am a professional singer...it is what I do...I love to sing at weddings...it's what I do...I would do anything for my sister...it is what I do. So when she asked me to sing my first reaction was...of course...what else would I do...sing...it is what I do, but then I got all nervous. How would I find the right song...it is hard to pick something so special for someone else, also knowing that she doesn't want to hurt my feelings so she might not be honest with me if I pick the wrong song. What if I start to cry in the middle of it...I am a crier...I admit it...it is what I do. Hopefully the professional in me will get me through singing this beautiful song looking at my little sister (14 years younger) pledge her love to this great guy...oh boy I'm in trouble (just kidding Kate, I am honored to sing at your wedding)

Why is it that I can't handle constructive criticism? I know that I am not good at everything...I know it, but when I realize that there is something that I am not good at my first instinct is to self defeat, but thankfully my second instinct is to try to figure out how to get better at it. So that is going to be how I tackle this next hurdle. Do what I can in spite of the diva in me to be perfect...oh boy I'm in trouble.


Things I Noticed Today:
1. My morning sucks when i forget my water bottle...I just need my water.

2. I feel very helpless and guilty when my son wakes up with a sore throat and I am looking at a my busiest teaching day and I say "Get in the shower...it will make you feel better" knowing full well it won't.

3. I love it when my son comes and eats lunch with me...I know he has a hundred kids his own age to eat with and he chooses his mom. What a great kid I have...

4. I love Chuck...the show...I just love it and I think about the episode all the day after and chuckle...get it chuck..le. I make myself crazy.

5. I really hate it when I go to the student store to get some low fat chips and I see a bag that is very reasonable calorie wise...buy it and then realize that there are two servings in the bag thus making it not so reasonable calorie wise...

6. I got my butt out of bed at 4:00 am and ran 4.5 miles...YIPEE.

7. I cannot believe that I got my butt out of bed at 4:00 am and ran 4.5 miles...gotta do it again tomorrow.

8. The quintet "Tonight" from West Side Story is an absolute biotch to sing and teach...really, an absolute biotch.

9. I cannot wait for my head to hit the pillow, all tucked in under the covers...and go to sleep. I'm tired.

10. I love Facebook...I know that many loathe it and what it does to their day, but I am finding all kinds of old friends...it is really fun to reminisce.

Things I am Grateful For:
1. Reds BBQ...the answer to not wanting to cook fish.
2. Eating lunch with my teenager.
3. Having the ability to accept that I am not good at everything...Ok having the ability to maybe admit that I might not be good at everything...come on it's a start.
4. Getting the honor to sing at my sister's wedding.
5. My warm bed...right over there just waiting for me to jump it

More later

- A Ro